Then when I started running, I figured I'd use it to keep track of my training, races, etc. and I've pretty much stuck with that, even though I don't update it as often as I should.
Also, I haven't really made my blog public knowledge yet. I mean, I'm okay if people find out about it but it's not something I publicize or promote. More like a "these are my thoughts - read them at your own risk" kind of thing.
side note: I do love to write. I just rarely have time to.
And I thought the title of this particular post is very apt with how I'm coping these days ... pretty much in a random stream of consciousness. Day by day, hour by hour, whatever it takes to get to the next thing.
And that's pretty much how I run too. Without music (unless I'm on the dreadmill) and just thinking my thoughts in a random state of mind. I think about life, I think about love, I think about my family, I think about the future, I think about how much pain I'm in (physical, emotional, etc.), and I think about pretty much everything in between. I pray. I solve whatever problems I think I have. I ask for help for whatever situations I may need help with. I thank God for every blessing I undeservedly have. Basically, I think about anything and everything. I mean, the actual act of running is pretty boring and my mind moves faster than my legs do anyway.
I'm taking some time off from running. It's not that I'm burned out - but I am. I'm burned out on a lot of things right now -- running, reading, walking during my lunch hour or even with the pugs around the neighborhood ... pretty much anything that I enjoyed is not high on my priority list right now. And that sucks. I've been doing some Pure Barre classes. Signed up for a free week and then got suckered into signing up for 30 days at a 'low' rate. They might think it's low but after the 30 days are up, I'm definitely done. I even went ahead and put my name on the schedule for as many days as possible -- but I've already missed one. Will likely miss more as the weeks go on. But training for marathon #2 will start on June 19. I'm not really looking forward to it as without my running partner, I've lost all motivation. I have to prove it to myself that I can do this without his support.
Life sucks sometimes.
Thanks for reading though. If you're a praying person, please say a prayer for me. I'm in the most difficult season of my life right now ... but I know that if I can get through this, and if I can show my kids that I can survive this, then I'll come out stronger in the end. God help me.