What's new with you - July update

Linking up with Gretchen at GretchRuns and Kristen at See You in a Porridge this first Thursday of July!

Training -
Moving right along with the marathon training. Currently towards the end of week 3 and it's a little boring. The intervals are still at run 3 minutes, walk 2 minutes and I find myself running a bit longer after the timer goes off to start walking ... and then re-starting running before the timer goes off to run again. But I've also noticed that my speed has increased, without me really trying to go faster. I think I'm going to have to look into joining a running group that will have dedicated speed sessions. Otherwise, I won't know what's the best way to go about that. I also know I need to do cross-training (something I hate) to get stronger ... which will also help on the speed. Too much to think about when I just want to forget about everything. And for those in on my Netflix woes, I'm watching Gilmore Girls now during any treadmill runs. I've been getting some runs in outside but when scheduling or weather keeps me inside, I have the witty banter of Lorelei and Rory to humor me.

Preach it, Barney

Life -
It's still sucktastic. Thanks for asking. But I'm grateful for friends. So many things running through my head at all hours - it's amazing I'm still able to get my job done as well as everything else I'm doing.

What do you do when you find out one of your friends (a close one - a very close one - possibly your spouse) has written you off and moved on without a second glance or any remorse? I have my faith to keep me going but there's always going to be a question of 'what the hell just happened here?' Is it really that much easier just to skip out on life and responsibilities than to put some JOINT effort into something? Should it be that easy that one can simply sign on the dotted line to void a marriage and there be no repercussions? Ugh ...

Michael knows. 
Actually, the storyline doesn't really go with my life story ... but it's the Godfather. I had to use it.

Goals -
Just keep waking up and putting one foot in front of the other. And keep the kids alive. :) And keep trying new things. Now that I don't have to needlessly worry about what someone else thinks about what I like/don't like (realizing that he just really didn't care anyway), I'm so enjoying getting out with friends and exploring and trying new things.

My most recent finished project from The Glass Gypsy.
It's symbolic (but hard to see in the photo) -- there's a large piece of cut glass in the middle for Indianapolis (my hometown) and a broken mirror for New Albany (where I live now and 'found' myself). 

Books -
While I did set a goal on GoodReads, I realized a few years ago that book goals aren't realistic for me. I'm not into picking fluff books to read and wonder why can't adults get the same type of reading goals that they set for kids? I'd rather measure what I read in pages, not books ... or give extra credit for the weighty tomes. Besides, wasn't really much in the reading mood for awhile. I've gotten back into it gradually, if only for something to do to keep my mind off "things".

I've been staring at paint blotches on the wall for more than a year. 
Apparently, the blotches only bothered me so I'm the one doing the painting.

Rest of month activities -
Well, I'm not on the family vacation right now that has been planned for more than a year. And I've deactivated Facebook for the week so I don't see all the photos and posts from those who did go. I'm working on the house while the kids are gone - painting what I can, decluttering what should have been tossed a long time ago (really just had no time or motivation and then someone was little-to-zero help). But, I'll be spending the rest of this month with W and A (as much time as I possibly can - they're growing up faster than I can keep up). I love the people they are becoming and we are talking more and more each day about everything and nothing and I'm loving every minute of it! (could this be the one 'positive' that comes out of the separation/pending divorce?) AND ... to get a text from them while they're gone that says they miss me this week. Bittersweet.

Any thoughts?
Any updates you want to share?
Any suggestions on how to cope?


Comments

  1. oh my goodness girl, i am so sorry to hear everything that's going on. i am crazy out of the loop and behind on blog posts, i am sorry. i think that last bit about loving the people W & A are becoming is definitely a positive. and so is reading :) i do read my share of fluffy books though lol.

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  2. oh, i don't know. if i were married and my man broke my heart so severely that a marriage bought it, i'm pretty sure no matter the cause for the dissolution, i'd want to clutch his face in my hands and behave just like al pacino in the godfather. just like him. i've never been married. never been in love with a man who was in love with me. but i was i love once, and i killed it because i didn't know how to care for it. and even though i was to blame, i'd still want to hold that man's face in my hands and throttle him for letting me fuck it up.

    i don't know the details, but... there are only five possible plots for a story, and the end is almost always the same in every one, no matter the characters or conflict: good or bad, happy or sad. i wish you solace right now. i wish you warmth and kindness and compassion.

    this: But, I'll be spending the rest of this month with W and A (as much time as I possibly can - they're growing up faster than I can keep up). I love the people they are becoming and we are talking more and more each day about everything and nothing and I'm loving every minute of it!

    this is how you cope. you find that one good thing in the miserable heap and you put it in a place that's prominent. you put your records on and play your favorite songs. you find out who your friends really are and relish the time you can spend with them. you dig into the bible. i'm not some holy roller. but i have to tell you, the past year, i've spent more time reading scripture than i probably have in my life, and i've enjoyed it. bible study fellowship's does a school-year-long study. the upcoming one's on romans, i believe, and i've heard good things about it. find a friend to do it with you. also priscilla shirer. i LOVE her study on the armor of god, and i've heard amazing things about the others. i'm doing beth moore's on timothy two (entrusted) with a friend right now. when i'm finished with that one, i plan on doing another of shirer's. if you want to do it with me, i'm happy to correspond with you about it.

    you tell yourself that god has been ahead of you every step of the way. you remind yourself that he's walking with you now. you trust that what was meant to be from your marriage, the good that was to come of it, has come, and now you move on to the next thing god has in store for you.

    i have battled severe depression for nearly forty years. i know how ugly life can be. you CAN get through this. you CAN.

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  3. I love your glass piece! It's seriously amazing and really touching the story behind it. I'm sorry to hear about your spouse..put all of that anger and energy into your marathon training. Running has always been such a great source of therapy for me, and I hope it will help you too. Thinking of you <3

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  4. I'm so sorry you're going through such a tough time. I hope you and the kids have a fun reunion when they get back!

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  5. Sorry your life is a bit tough right now. Very cool on the marathon training. I'm a marathon girl myself I absolutely love the 26.2 distance. I've never done the run walk method so I can't offer any suggestions on the boredom part. But sounds like your body likes to run so I say just go with what your feeling instead of exactly as what tplan your following says, and maybe that will help? Good luck!

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  6. So sorry to hear all the suckiness. The best I can offer is a couple tired-ass cliches that are yawn-worthy but I think hold some truth -- the only way out is through. When you're going through hell, keep going. When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.

    With running, my favorite part was when I realized I was getting faster just by doing it more. I wasn't doing speedwork, I was just getting in better shape. I could breathe better for longer, my legs were getting stronger, and natural speed improvement was a nice side-effect of increased distance. Enjoy that perk and do what feels right on the run!

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