Now I'm mad ...

Maybe this is what it takes but I'm seriously ticked off at myself. Everything was going well today -- woke up early to go for a run w/ Matt. He said he was too tired so instead of resetting my alarm clock, I got dressed and hit the treadmill for 2 miles. Made an awesome spinach and strawberry salad to take for lunch at work, had my usual breakfast smoothie with Visalus shake mix, coffee, coffee ice cubes, chia seeds, and ground flax meal. I'm hitting my stride, I'm feeling good, it's going to be a great day!

On the way out the door, I think "ooh, I think I should get a little chocolate as a treat today!" -- see the last box of Thin Mints (do you see where this is going?) and instead of grabbing only 4 (a serving size, mind you), I grab a whole tube ... which is 7 servings. And still think to myself that I will space these out over the rest of the week at work. Right .... I just ate the whole tube and am seriously mad at myself. Honestly? Normally or usually, I would still only put down on my food log that I ate 4 ... if I listed it at all. I'm going to leave that sucker up there. Over 1000 calories in that "snack" and I'm in the red on fat, sugar, carbs, and who knows what all else. Mad, angry, disgusted, and frustrated with myself!

The only thing that could redeem myself is to try to work it all off today -- so I just came back from a 2 mile walk around the downtown area at work. It makes my numbers look slightly better but if I want to eat something for supper, I'm going to have to do something else this afternoon. As it is, with my lovely healthy spinach salad that would have filled me up without a dessert ... I have 40 calories left for the day.

Freaking girl scout cookies. I hate them because they make me hate myself. I don't, really. But I'm mad. And maybe this is what it takes to get that motivation back. Before today, I was down 7 pounds from the beginning of the year. Wouldn't be surprised if I gained it all back today. Stupid.


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